COVID Vaccine (and mental health) Update

Here I sit on a very humid Thursday afternoon, contemplating life and the many things I need to do today. I wasn't really sure I was going to blog anymore this week, but since I'm left to only my thoughts, I thought it best to write for a while as a sort of release. 

I'll start by updating you on how I feel post-vaccine. The answer? Better, much better. By late Tuesday night I was feeling good and even my headache subsided. The fatigue was gone, my headache was better (aside from my constant tension headache) and I wasn't really thinking about the shot anymore. My arm, however, was terribly sore all day Tuesday and most of the day yesterday. I have about a half-dollar sized bruise and an equally sized knot to match. It's still sore today, but nothing like the previous days. The knot has also gone down from yesterday, which is fantastic. 

Now all I have to do is get through the second shot and I'll hopefully be good to go. I'm still going to stress like crazy for the weeks (probably months or years) to follow, but hopefully this will keep me and my family safer.

I've had a rough couple months lately. I don't know why, but I have these crazy thoughts in my head that just won't go away. I keep thinking of old times, times when my gran, mom, dad and other deceased family members were still around and it really gets me down. It's like I can't comprehend the fact that they're gone and I long to have those days back. I know everyone does this, but it seems like it's getting worse the older I get. 

I also keep thinking of the future and worry about losing other people and animals. Sometimes it's worse than others and it all hits me at once. It's like I have a weighted blanket of sadness that I can't get out from under. I don't know if I'm just going through a phase or what. I think a lot of it is due to my anxiety. I've had a couple really bad anxiety attacks this year and it's detrimental to my mental health. I try to stay as positive as I can, but when you have such heavy thoughts, it's hard. 

That's enough of that, but it does help to write about it. I don't really talk to anyone about it because I don't want to bring them down. I also worry that they won't understand and think I'm being weird. Am I the only one that misses being young and naive? I think back to when I was young and how little I worried. I didn't really know about the worries of the world and was completely sheltered. I know there are adults in the world that still have that mindset, but I honestly don't know how. 

I think it's time to close this chapter for now, lol. I'm going to switch gears and talk about the beautiful full moon last night! After LaVaughn and I got back from our walk we drove down the road so that I could try and capture the moon and all its radiant glory. I was, unfortunately, in a rush and couldn't take the time I needed to capture a good image, but I did get a decent one. I so badly want a longer lens for better pics of the moon. I think I want too many lenses, lol. 

Well I guess that's all for now. I'll share a couple pictures of the mood that I took last night. I also just ran outside and took a few rando pics to add to this post.

Full moon last night.

Definitely not my best moon pics, but decent.

I totally need a longer lens.

Potatoes picked from the garden today!

Some of the beautiful begonias that I saved from Rozier's.

Pretty purple flowers.

I can't think of what they're called.

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