My sweet Louie...

My little man lost his battle at 11:05 last night due to a pituitary tumor. I held him in my arms after I got home up until he took his last breath. It's killing me. I miss him so, so much. He and his brother Leo that passed earlier this year were honestly the sweetest rats I've ever met in my entire life. I've never been as close to rats as I was to them, and because of that my sister and I will probably never own rats again. We get too attached and they just don't live long enough. We're going to spend as much time with Merle as we can to keep him happy. I'm just done with rats. Their short lives bring endless love and happiness, but too much pain in the end. 

I love you so much Louie, I will probably never love a rat the way I loved you.

2014-2016

In memory of my uncle Bill...

My uncle passed away over the weekend. He's been on hospice for 4 years now I think, so it was kind of expected. He was a fighter, though. Kept his wits about him up until the very end. I haven't spent much time with him as of late, but I did spend a lot of my childhood with my and my aunt Eva when my grandma lived next to them.

He used to work at the full service gas station in Frederickton -- I can still remember pulling up and seeing him sitting out front of the station, waving. He was also in the Army back in the 40s I believe. He's worked his entire life, he's had a hard life, but a meaningful one.

You will be forever missed and I am grateful that I'm called Bill Wallace when I talk due to the magnitude of my voice, it's an honor.

A picture of the store parking lot after the wake today.

Goodbye, old friend...

This unbelievably gorgeous and sweet boy had to be put to sleep today. My heart is breaking in two right now.

He has been a part of our family for almost 17 years. I still remember the day we got him. It was a cold December night in 1999. We had heard of a "kennel" out in the middle of nowhere that had a bunch of puppies up for adoption. What was supposed to be a kennel turned into a run down cage with over a dozen different puppies inside. All were different breeds, underweight and sickly. Fletcher stood out from the crowd and was the first puppy I picked up. There was something special about him, even then. I even surpassed my favorite breed to get him. 

It was a long road of recovery for him as he was nearly on his death bed when we got him home. We've had over 16 wonderful and happy years with this old man, but he's been suffering the last couple months and putting him to sleep was the best thing for him, even thought it was the last thing we wanted to do. Tumors had spread to his lungs, liver and his kidneys were starting to shut down. He's taken a big piece of my heart with him, but he will never be forgotten. 

I love you so much, Fletcher. I know that you're not suffering now and we couldn't ask for anything more.

1999-2016

Remembering Hamilton...

You may find yourself wondering just who Hamilton is, well he was a cat that showed up here a couple months ago out of nowhere. He was very skittish and afraid for the first couple weeks, but he soon warmed up. He was sneezy when he first arrived, so we took extra precaution when coming back in the house around Zoe. We refrained from holding him and couldn't let him rub on our legs, which was rough. Zoe had just had her surgery and is FIV positive, so we couldn't risk cross-contaminating.

He stopped sneezing after a few days, but we continued our same routine of washing after being around him, just to be on the safe side. He was so, so friendly and just wanted to be loved on and rubbed. He wouldn't even eat if we were around to touch him, which breaks my heart to think about. He purred very loud and chased us all over the yard. He would stop to roll every 5 feet and would jump and lunge before doing so, it was the cutest thing.

He was a black and white cat and had one solid white front leg and one solid black one. He had a big black splotch on his nose, along with a lot of white and some other black splotches. He had a nose that would remind you of a spuds dog and just the sweetest little face. This is so hard to write, as it breaks my heart that I didn't take one picture of him.

Hamilton didn't act like himself Monday the 25th (last month), so we gave him some medicine that we had left over -- perfectly safe, I might add. The vet approved. He barely ate anything that evening, which worried me, but it didn't make me think anything serious was going on. I sat down by the boat and held him in my arms for the first time. He didn't feel well and I felt he needed comforting. The next day he was no better, Wouldn't eat, just kind of stood around and stared at me. I held him again and stood down by the boat in the rain and rubbed on him. A vet visit was in order the next day before we left for Cape, but he was nowhere to be found when I got up. I looked and looked and called him, but nothing.

We asked my aunt to keep an eye out for him and asked if she would feed him and give him his medicine, which she did late that night. We got the unfortunate news Thursday morning that he had passed away. My heart broke as the tears filled my eyes. I was so upset and felt abusive and neglectful. I felt like I didn't do my job as a pet owner and love, I let him down. I should have taken him to the vet Monday and I'll never ever let myself forget that. I'll also never forgive myself for not taking one picture of him -- I hate myself for not doing so.

I'm so sorry your life with us was so short lived, Hamilton. I'm sorry we didn't take better care of you and take you to the vet sooner. I'll never forget you for as long as I live and I hope that you don't hate us for not doing so. You were loved while you were here and will never, ever be forgotten...

RIP Hamilton

? - July 28th 2016 

Sadie, my love...

I just lost a big piece of my heart 40 minutes ago. My sweet, sweet angel crossed the rainbow bridge in my hands. I'm in shock, it doesn't seem real, I don't want it to be real.

She was my first glider that I adopted in 2009. She was such a rotten little thing that insisted on biting me every chance she got for well over a month. After she settled down and realized that I wasn't trying to murder her while trying to give her kisses and treats, we had a bond like no other.

I don't have favorites among my gliders, but if I did Sadie would be at the top of the list. My heart hurts so much right now, I can barely think.

I'm just in complete and utter shock over this. I can't stop crying and I just feel sick all over. I miss her so much already and she hasn't even been gone an hour. I'm having a very, very hard time with this, so I'm going to go. I'll try to explain things later this week.

I love you so, so much my sweet angel. I'll never forget you and will always keep you in my heart...

April 12th 2009 - July 12th 2016

I love you Sadie, my sweet and special angel.

A death and an anniversary...

It's a very sad day around here as we lost one of our very first boys, Pip. I honestly don't know what happened to him, this was all so sudden and unexpected. 

Pip would have tuned 7 at the end of this month. I still remember the day we picked him up back in October of 2009. He was always such a sweet and special boy. Never bit a day in his life and very rarely crabbed. He was an excellent daddy up until he got neutered a few years ago. I'm so saddened right now and just completely heartbroken.

Today is also Doug and Kyan's 1 year wedding anniversary. I'm trying so hard to be happy and think of something nice to say, but I'm so completely and utterly heartbroken. It just does not seem real. I kept thinking it was all a dream today while I was at work, but I knew it wasn't. I just don't understand. 

Pip was sick with a sinus infection several weeks ago, but that cleared up with two separate sets of antibiotics. His cage mate, Sadie, has been sick for the past two weeks as well, but what she has is completely unrelated. She had a severe URI that we're treating with clavamox and lots of liquids. Not only am I sad, but I can't imagine what she must be going through. She just lost her cage mate of 6 years on top of being sick. 

I've been keeping her with me basically 24/7. She's only in her cage while I sleep or while I'm at work. I hope that's enough to keep her mind off of losing him. 

Glide free my sweet and special boy. You are always in my heart and will be forever missed.

June 27th 2009 - June 1st 2016

Mournful Hiatus...

I had a couple draft posts from last week, but I'm never going to get around to them. I may update on what's happened lately, but not anytime soon. We've had a rough couple weeks, lost too much. The most recent being our precious boy, Bart. I'm not going to be able to write about him anytime soon, so I'm taking a big break from my blog. It's just too painful right now.

Blogging should be fun, not stressful and sad, tedious or a duty. I'm taking time to reflect and gather myself. If by some miracle I have the strength to blog, I will.

Until then...

RIP My Precious, Bart

You will live on in my heart for the rest of my life. Until we meet again...

March 23rd 2012 - May 1st 2016

The worst possible outcome...

I don't even know how I'm going to say this, but our sweet and gorgeous boy, Jasper, had to be put to sleep today. What we thought to be worms ended up being FIP, a fatal and incurable disease. LaVaughn called me after they told her, she then began to tell me that they suggest putting him to sleep. Since there was no good outcome even with medication, we decided to have him put down.

One of the hardest and saddest decisions we've ever had to make and I couldn't be there for either of them because I was stuck at work.

I still can't believe it happened. I feel sick all over, sad and just lost.

You will be so sincerely and unbelievably missed, my sweet boy. I will never forget you and hold you in my heart always.

RIP Jasper

April 23rd 2014 - April 22nd 2016

No time to say goodbye...

Oh gods, days like today are days that I dread the most. Last night before bed, LaVaughn noticed that Leo was breathing really hard and semi lethargic. We were all out of Doxy, so I gave him a nice sized dose of prednisone and went to bed. When I got up today around noon, he had deteriorated even more. He was moving around the cage quite a bit, which made me feel a little better, but he was still in really bad shape.

I got him out, wrapped him in some fleece and fed him half of a yoggie. That's really all he would eat. After I woke LaVaughn up, she helped me get a Baytril pill down him, but it never really went all the way down. He mainly just held it in his mouth. I was waiting to hear from the vet on whether we should meet her at the clinic tonight, or wait until tomorrow.

I sat in the living room, holding him in my arms for about 5 minutes. That's when he started open mouth breathing -- this is when they're in extreme respiratory distress. It wasn't two minutes later that he started really gasping for air. He was opening his mouth and really throwing his head back, it was awful. At that moment I knew I had to prepare myself for what was coming next.

I started back towards the bedroom, barely able to see due to the tears I was shedding. I didn't even make it to the bed before he drew one last breath, then he stiffened up and stopped moving. I was hysterical at that point. LaVaughn rushed into the bedroom and asked what was wrong, which I began to tell her. She lost it after that and the two of us held him and cried for another 30 minutes.

They may just be rodents or "nasty" animals to most, but to us they're sweet, loving, gentile, and kind animals that we call our babies. I'm still at a loss and can't honestly believe that he's gone.

I'm not going to be much use for anything other type of content in this blog, so I'm going to end it here. We're trying to spend as much time with Louie as we can.

-Megan

RIP Leo...

November 2014 - April 2016

Here are some pictures of Louie, getting lots of snuggles:

Days like today...

I hate days like this, I hate them. Not only has the day been EXTREMELY weird, but we ended up losing our little ringtail boy. It all started last night around midnight when I went in the glider room to check on everyone. I noticed Charli was jumping around the cage without her baby, then I noticed Tyler was out too. Huge red flag!

I quickly started checking the pouches, that's when I heard a faint cry come from the bottom of the cage. The little boy was hanging onto the bridge, completely frozen! After I got him warmed up, I put Charli and Tyler in our small hospital cage and gave them their joey back. I was thinking he maybe just fell off of her and they didn't bother to get him.

Tyler kept moving all around the pouch, jumping in and out, so I ended up putting him in the big cage and left the joey with Charli. Around 3 he was latched onto a nipple, so I figured all was well.

When I woke up today, I found him on the outside of the cage pouch, freezing! I warmed him up and make up some milk replacer. He didn't take hardly any of it, so I decided to put him back in with his mom -- he was extremely filthy, by the way. Charli wasn't paying any attention to him. I tried to put him back with her, that's when she bit his thigh and made him cry. She then bit my thumb extremely hard. That's when I decided not to put him back with her at all.

I tried feeding him some more, as did LaVaughn, I ended up letting him in the pouch with his daddy, who did awesome with him. He cleaned and stimulated him, kept him warm and slept with him. The boy ended up passing about 30 minutes after being in the pouch with his daddy. He died on his back, warm and loved. I held them in a bonding pouch the entire time, it was as peaceful as it could be.

I'm devastated.

LaVaughn and I went to town a little while ago to grab something for dinner. There was a Canadian goose in the parking lot of the grocery store, which was really weird. So yeah, that's our day. I'm so ready for it to be over...

Love & Peace

-Megan

Pictures from today:

Tyler and his little boy.

Tyler being a baby.

The drive to town.

Love the new shelves at Walmart.

So completely random...

Words can't even...

We received some devastating news last night. Our little ringtail girl, Wanda, passed away. Milli has only had her for 8 days, it's unreal. She apparently started going downhill a few days ago and appeared to be suffering from a UTI, which was treated at the vet yesterday. Apparently she started doing a little better last night, then just did a complete 180 and started having seizures.

It just doesn't seem real, I'm so upset. Milli is heartbroken, of course, but I have this feeling of sadness that I can't shake. She's having a necropsy done next week, so hopefully that will shed some light on exactly what happened to her.

I wish we would have kept her like we originally wanted to go. I have so much regret, I can't even begin to describe the way I feel. I just feel sick.

As much as I really don't want to go, I must. I have to be at work in just over an hour, definitely not looking forward to a day of sadness and loss. Hopefully we'll be busy and I won't have time to think about anything that's going on.

-Megan

I'm so lonesome I could cry...

That song speaks true to me at the moment. I don't know what it is, but I'm having a major rough patch in life right now. I guess I'm just depressed. This has happened twice before in my life. Once when my gran passed away, then again a couple years later. Once it hits, you can't kick it. I try to be happy and look at the bright side of everything, but sometimes it's just hard. I find it hard to enjoy things I once looked forward to. How's that for a classic case of depression.

It's just been an all around bad day. Like seriously, things were okay for an hour or so after I got up, but then they went from okay to completely unbearable! It's amazing how one wrong move and set the motion for the rest of the day. My luck.

Dare I bring forth the terribly depressing news about Sookie? She passed last night. I don't know what happened. She had recovered from her wet tail just fine. It doesn't look as if she suffered in the end, she was curled up in a little ball -- like she was sleeping. I'm happy that she went in her sleep. I can't talk about it too much right now, I'm just not in the right state to do so.

I went against my better judgment today and took outdoor joey pictures. I've been slacking TERRIBLY in the joey picture department. And it wasn't until after Viktor almost got away from me that I realized that he was too damn big for outdoor photos. He's 6 weeks already, what was I thinking?! That's a perfect example of how my mind is working at the moment.

I did, however, get some cute pictures of Wanda and Pietro. They held fairly still in my hands while I took their picture. It was nearly past sunset, so the lighting was terrible. It didn't help that it was cloudy, muggy, and foggy outside. I had to jack the ISO all the way up to 3200 -- way too grainy for my taste, but I had to.

Speaking of cameras, I have to use the kit lens for joey pictures anymore. I use the 50mm for basically everything, but it's a fixed zoom and that doesn't work well for joey pictures, not at all! I need a macro lens, I've already stated this to LaVaughn, so she knows. And if I ever get my photography up and running, I'm going to invest in a 85mm. That will be AFTER I purchase a new body, of course.

Well I guess one thing still excites me, talking about cameras.

I'm going to call it a day and enjoy what time I have left before work tomorrow. It's been a terribly sucky day, I honestly can't wait for it to be over...

Love & Peace

-Megan

Random (and rare!) food finds:

Baby yellow tomatoes!

Salad cucumbers.

AND mascarpone cheese! Do you have any idea how long we've looked for this?

Random pictures from the day:

Love Bart's face.

I managed to clean the drop trays today - go me.

A caterpillar I harassed:

The joeys:

Viktor

Marcus

Pietro

Wanda